To trash, or not to trash

There is a new thing happening - I saw it on some wedding photographer sites and on some stupid wedding show on cable once - trashing the dress.

The idea is that you won't ever wear the dress again, so "trash" it in a fun photo shoot so you don't have to keep it in your closet forever. Brides destroy their dresses by hopping in pools, wading in lakes, taking a dip in a fountain, rolling around in the dirt - whatever. And - it seems - brides get all made up again, and grooms get to look more casual.

So, our photos are back - they're wonderful, but B's smile wasn't all it could be - he was recovering from his facial palsy still. I'm not a traditional bride, or a prima donna type who would want a photo shoot, but I'm a little tempted to trash.

It'd be a chance to be silly, get some cool photos of B's dreamy smile which has returned completely now, and find a good use for this dress...

What do you think?

Invites and the creation of a logo: A+B

By no means are we original, but I'd like to think we were at least a little original with our use of a logo, right?

When Shachar of Bates Meron Sweet Design started working on our invitations he helped us figure out that we wanted to focus on the location and keep everything else pretty simple. So, we used photos from Murphy's Irish Bistro and the beautiful font Gotham to keep everything clean and simple. The color photos, which we used on our invite helped, I hope, set the mood for the wedding - an old-school but modern bar-bistro, or something.

A+B is easy and fit nicely in the circle that Shachar used on the front of the invite. Gotham, the font we used, is the same font that Barack Obama used for his campaign. Organizing For America continues to use Gotham - it's modern, easy to read and crisp. It's very regular looking, too, which is actually a kind neat thing for a wedding invitation, we thought.


A+B turned out to be an excellent choice, logowise. It's easy to type, easy to say and cute. My parents set up our favors - including A+B shot glasses and awesome pencils. Even if you rarely use a pencil (I mean, everyone uses a pencil once and again!) it's nice to have a cool A+B CHEERS pencil, right?

Lots of people wrote cards to A+B and we've started signing things A+B too. I routinely call Brian B, but he calls me C for my last name - never A. As for the CHEERS that found its way on to our invites, shot glasses and pencils - totally Shachar's idea, but a brilliant bit of whimsy and celebration - not stuffy, but maybe a little Irish-Pub-y? Maybe.

This design-type stuff was important to us, but it's not important to everyone. I think we probably spent more time on fonts, design and the invitations than on the ceremony or the details of colors, matching and coordinating. This totally worked for us, and it turned out beautifully.

Our last A+B touch - my mom found A and B Christmas ornaments and affixed them to the card birdcage with a ribbon that (what?!?) actually matched the bridesmaid dresses and gentleman's ties. Woot!

Nerves

Here's me working on my vows before the wedding - just before the pre-wedding party started.

We've reviewed the wedding and determined it was the most fun ever. We're working on thank you notes for so many wonderful gifts/favors/etc... We're also finding places for some of the new things we've got - like beautiful Fiesta dishes - and some of the not-so-new things we're moving out to make room.

We leave for our honeymoon on Saturday - 14 days in California!

• August 7: Arrive in California, visit UCLA, grocery store, drive to Oxnard.
• August 8-10: Take a 9 a.m. ferry to Channel Islands National Park! We're going to hike, set up our awesome hammock, camp and pretend that we're on Lost. We go back to the mainland on August 10. We'll quickly head to eat, shower and sleep in a non-tent space - the Kon Tiki Inn.
  
• August 11: Lounge and enjoy the coast.
• August 12: Visit the Hearst Castle and set up camp near the coast at a state park.
  
• August 13-14: We'll camp but also drive to the towns along the coast, see redwoods and visit a farmer market festival of some sort. Excited for all the produce in California!
• August 15: Head north to the 17-mile drive, Monterey and its aquarium. Should be beautiful.
• August 16-18: Napa - wineries, dinners, cool doors, tastings, wine farm fun. My parents gave me a good guide to Napa - can't wait to sip some fresh(?) wine and use my adjective card to describe it.
• August 19-21: Drop off the rental car and venture into San Francisco. We're seeing an Oakland A's game and otherwise just strolling and bumming around the city. We hear it's pretty awesome. On Saturday we head back to Chicago - yikes!

We'll post from the road, too - using our sweet new iPad! We're skipping Yosemite and trying to make this adventurous and relaxing. That sounds like a tall order but I think my husband and I can handle it. Yay!

Oh, what a night!

Turns out Murphy's gives the person who pays for a wedding the grand total with an itemized list of what was eaten (all food we ordered from the catering menu), assorted fees and each drink ordered.

B is promising a few charts (perhaps a bar chart of my favorite pies and a pie chart of my favorite bars?!?) about these drinks, but I'm here to tell you some awesome news: Chicago beer was heavily favored at our wedding!

Goose Island Green Line and Half Acre Gossamer were two of the top-ordered beers - and deservedly so. Both are perfect summer beers and pair delightfully with things like BBQ chicken sliders and a potato skins bar. Green Line is only available by keg - it's that green! No waste for that beer. Gossamer comes from a brewery right next to our grocery store.

We'll continue to post a few wedding lessons and highlights from our big day, but let me just boast like a bride and share a few excellent things:

• Murphy's Irish Bistro was amazing. The space was perfect for our wedding and reception - we had a few vases of flowers and the whole bistro just shined. We were excited to share one of our favorite places with so many friends and to share so much delicious food too. The Irish Bistro's potato skins bar was a complete hit -- my sister-in-law is already discussing what next event we can hold there so that we can again enjoy a potato skins bar.
• Getting my hair and makeup done at Lather was lovely - I'm glad I was calm about it, and glad I shelled out for the 'do and makeup. I felt beautiful and ready to go, though I do think that there's something to be said for doing this yourself. My wedding party and I, however, were much better off away from the madness of my apartment and in the air-conditioning of Lather.
• I'm glad we didn't invite more people - it was so hard to talk to everyone. I'm sad I didn't get to sit in on every conversation all night. If some sort of time machine could facilitate that, I'd be down with that. We did have a completely spectacular crowd - nary a rowdy wreck in the bunch!

Ok, better post this. I promise much more - with photos - as we debrief from the biggest party we'll ever have.

Down to the wire

OK, so most couples would probably be relaxing and getting ready for the insanity to come. But I'm a Christmas-Eve shopper to the bone, and I've unfortunately dragged Amanda into my insanity. Certainly the Knot thinks we should be making only superficial preparations at this point; several of the items left on our checklist are from last month’s list. Whoops.

So here are some things we still have to get done, about 32 hours before the wedding.

Music
We’ve got three playlists, one for downstairs (dancing and high-energy), upstairs (more chilled out, classic rock, jazz and motown) and a third that will be played during the cocktail hour following the reception. I’m about 90 percent done with these; the songs are all selected and categorized, I just need to put them in the right order.

Program
This is mostly written, but needs some design flourishes. And to be printed. Amanda and Julie will be finishing it this morning.

Guestbook
OK, this one’s really up in the air. We’ve had some good ideas involving a photo album or creative scrapbooks, but haven’t really put anything together. As much as we want to have something cool and different, the guestbook might just get sacrificed on the alter of convenience. Anyone know where I can buy one?

Vows
Mine are done; Amanda is still putting on some finishing touches.

Wedding day scheduling and assignments
We’ve got a pretty good idea of who needs to be where when, but we should probably write this down so everyone is on the same schedule. Amanda and her wedding party will be getting ready at Murphy’s, the boys at my apartment. Which might necessitate the aforementioned window unit (see previous post). We also need to make a final decision on what everyone’s jobs are (who takes care of the presents, does the tipping, grabs the guestbook at the end of the night, etc.) Again, we’ve got a pretty good idea on this, but should really formalize it and write it down.

Looking good
Amanda and Co. have mani/pedi appointments today, and I’m getting a haircut this afternoon. The girls are going in for their big hair appointment tomorrow afternoon, of course, and I also have an appointment to drop in and get styled. What, you think I’m doing my own hair on my wedding day?

Rehearsal
This is one thing we’re right on schedule with. I mean, that’s what the rehearsal dinner is for, right?

I guess that’s not so bad. Hopefully there’s nothing large and glaring I’ve forgotten. I mean, what are the odds of that?

Come rain or shine

Unbelievably, we're now close enough to the wedding to look at weather reports. Like much of the country, Chicago is in the middle of a ridiculous heat wave. It's been in the 90's with high humidity for what feels like the last month, with little sign of letting up.

The Tribune is predicting Friday will be the hottest day of the year, peaking at 97. Which will no doubt feel like 105 in our non-air-conditioned apartment, especially when it’s packed with houseguests. Nothing like waking up the morning of your wedding covered with sweat. Or maybe not. There has been talk of a hotel.

Luckily, the day of the wedding is supposed to be cooler, with lower humidity. Most of the day will be spent in air-conditioned locales, of course, but no one likes to travel in heat while wearing a suit. It’s also supposed to be sunny, which is good. The Elizabeth Room on the second floor, where we'll be getting married, looks really great with sunlight streaming in from the west.

Finally, Sunday is supposed to be a lot cooler and generally lovely summer day. Sounds like a good occasion for some relaxation!

Into every wedding some Lyme must fall

For those of you who don't know, I have the best "why I haven't been blogging excuse" ever: Lyme disease.

Apparently, this all started at George’s bachelor party camping trip to Sugar River near Rockford. I do remember pulling a tick off my leg, but I don't remember having one on me for the 24+ hours it supposedly takes to spread Lyme, nor did I get the distinctive bulls eye rash that often accompanies it.

I spent the next four weeks being sick and generally dragging ass. Rather tackling our long-list of wedding tasks (including this blog), instead I was coming home from work and taking naps. I got what seemed to be pneumonia, followed by headaches and neck/shoulder/arm pain. All this culminated on the Friday I woke up with a stiff jaw that evolved into a paralyzed face. By the next morning, I was in the hospital. Four days, one spinal tap and a whole lot of vicodin later, I was home with bilateral Bell's palsy (paralyzed face) and a diagnosis of Lyme disease. Less than three weeks before my wedding.

First and most importantly, I'm fine. I have to take IV antibiotics through a catheter in my arm for four weeks, at which point I should be completely Lyme-free. Amanda's administers the antibiotics, which only takes about 10 minutes. In the meantime, I can't get the catheter wet or overextend my arm. I don't really have any symptoms, and generally feel pretty great.

Except…did I mention the part about my face being paralyzed two weeks before the wedding?

This has really been the hardest part. I'm usually pretty optimistic, but this time I've been trying to be brutally honest, preparing myself for not being able to laugh at my wedding, or really taste the food, or give a speech and have people understand me. For not being able to smile at Amanda when she walks down the aisle towards me, something I've been looking forward to a long time. Considering this is the only serious health problem I've ever had, I've tried to keep the self pity to a minimum. But it's hard not to curse the timing.

Except...last Tuesday, I was suddenly able to waggle my eyebrows. And by Wednesday, turn the corners of my mouth up in a smile. And today to flare my nostrils, successfully drink from a can and give a full-fledged (if mysterious-looking) smile to my niece. Two weeks is an extraordinarily fast recovery time for Bell's palsy, so this is beyond my wildest hopes.

Short version: pardon my lack of blogging, and don't mind my half-smile at the wedding; it could be worse.

Ding-Ding, I got a ring!

We waited around much of the day today for my ring to arrive. It came all the way from Florida, where my best friend Julie grew up. She inherieted a bracelet from her mother which she dis-assembled. The bracelet featured many, many diamonds and she wanted to give a few to me for my wedding ring.

I don't have an engagement ring so I wanted something special for my wedding band. dI looked in shops, on websites and on the hands of most anyone I passed. I found something I liked and Jeffrey B, a jeweler, translated it into something he could make.

It's a combination of a few different things - simple but not basic, pretty, something to wear on its own, maybe a little vintage, sparkly.

I definitely felt nervous - deciding on a ring to wear all the time based off drawing and photos is an act of trust, right? But I love it. And it fits.

Let's eat cake

For everyone who was considering skipping our wedding if we didn't have cake - fear not.

We have ordered and paid for our wedding cake. We (exactly 14 days before the wedding day) scooted over to Dinkel's Bakery to taste cake - it was a dream (at least for Brian)! The moist cakes, the buttercream icing, the filling we could taste with spoons...

We love Dinkel's - it's an old-school bakery with lots of pastries, cookies, breads, etc... It's been operating since 1922 and it's was the place to get your Wedding Ham Baked Into Rye Bread (I've decided that this title should be capitalized) when Brian's utterly amazing Grandma Fergie was married in 1926. Joan, the cake coordinator, confirmed that Dinkel's did make Wedding Hams Baked Into Rye Bread - as recent as two Easters ago. She also confirmed that Wedding Ham Baked Into Rye Bread is delicious. (Can you imagine? Sweet, salty, hamminess flavoring delicious fresh bread?!?)

We tasted our samples, discussed the flavor of each choice as if we were at a vineyard. The Butter Kuchen was too rich for our event (which already is a bit heavy food-wise with Irish pub food on the menu) and the Wedding White was missing some of the flavor of the winning flavor - Yellow Summer Sponge Cake.

We gushed over the icings as well, settling on only delicious varieties that would compliment the cakes. Nothing too fancy, nothing at all original (it's cake, you know?) and nothing but delicious.

We chose to do a small, two-tier cake - called the "presentation cake" - as well as a sheet cake - called by me "the bigger, unfancy cake." We can promise that both are amazing and will make attending our wedding worthwhile.

Let's get down to business

Now that we're in the home stretch, I'm going to start blogging again. Promise. Here's some random updates. More to follow.

Cake

I'm going to make an appointment at Dinkel's next week for cake tasting. I've heard they bring you entire bowls of frosting to taste. This might gross some people out. I am not one of those people.

Music

Believe it or not, we'll be having a live jazz combo! My cousin Tim's jazz quartet will be providing pre-ceremony tunes, as well as playing a couple songs for the ceremony itself.

After that, it's iPod time. Our friend Dan owns Chicago Sound, an AV equipment rental company, and he's going to make our lives a ton easier. Murphy's has a built-in speaker system on both floors and a wireless microphone we can use, but Dan thinks they speakers might not be loud enough to really rock out the dancing on the first floor. If so, he'll provide some equipment capable of playing Poker Face at the volume we're looking for. Just knowing he's going to handle that stuff so we don't have to makes me happy.

On the other hand, the playlists (one for upstairs, one for downstairs) are all ours. That's a lot of music. We should probably get working on that.

Suit and Ties

I'm having a black suit custom made in Thailand for the wedding. Really. I'd like to say that's just how I roll, but it's actually just how Brian Bauer rolls and I'm just along for the ride. He's coincidentally having a suit made for a wedding in August, so I can piggyback on his style and fabric choices.

All the men in the wedding, along with our father and Amanda's brother, will be wearing grayish-green ties that match the bridesmaid dresses ("dusty shale") pretty well. We bought them at Macy's, so I may have to admit that my boycott is over.

Hotel

I kind of feel we got jobbed by the Ambassador East. Pretty much everyone who's looked online has been able to find a far better room rate than the one we were given as part of our reserved block of rooms. WTF is that?

At any rate, please look around. I know people have found deals through TravelZoo and 1-800-HOTELS.

Wedding Shower = Feeling overwhelmed with generous family & friends! Thank you, thank you, thank you...

We've survived shower No. 1 - it was an incredible time! We feel showered in love and good wishes from family and friends who marched over to B's mom's house for food, drink and fun.

We received some incredible gifts as well as kind wishes for our married life.

I'm starting to really realize that we're getting married. As much as that doesn't seem like a big deal, I also realize it's a bigger commitment than just living together and that it's an exciting idea to start our very own Criner-Issleb home together.

I cannot possibly express how thankful we feel for the love and happy tidings expressed at the party - we'll send thank you notes, of course - but it's just heartwarming and amazing to feel so loved. Yow!

B's mom also asked everyone to share a memory of B or I or both of us and passed out maps of the places we've lived and visited to help. Some favorites:

• My mom remembering B ordering a cowboy (enormous) steak at dinner, then years later hearing a woman ask, "Who could eat all that?" Her answer was, of course, "our soon-to-be son-in-law."
• B's mom recalling our sinkhole party and our travels to DC to see the Supreme Court and President Obama's Innauguration. She even called us patriots - which is pretty flattering for two liberals who tear up over healthcare reform.
• Many orange and blue sentiments - I-L-L, I-N-I, friends!
• Michelle recalling B trying to take back a six-pack of beer after a party and getting scolded by me.
• "If it doesn't work out there is always the Seminary." Hmmm.
• WIXY Country memories from my dear friend who adores weddings, traditions and common sense.
• Skeeball boardwalk memories from Cindy who witnessed much of the development of Brian and I as we went from friends to what we are today.
• Compliments to B's amazing brain, cooking, game-playing skills, etc...
• "Wherever you go, go with love."

Cheesy bits aside, we are positively glowing after our shower. And seriously considering cooking up a four course meal with all the gift goodies.

Thanks friends and family!

Ideas galore

I will admit that I occasionally look at wedding blogs. I do. Wedding blogs are really stupid most of the time and usually showcase the most ridiculous of wedding ideas (like cakes that match dresses and jars of buttons at the reception to symbolize something...).

But... I also like the idea and concepts of tying it all together. Our wedding doesn't have a definite theme though you can pick any combination of words like...

• Casual
• Fun
• Simple
• Thrifty
• Awesome
• Pub-ish
• Modern

Still... I do want my hair to match my dress and my shoes to add something to the whole thing. I want everyone in the wedding to look a tiny bit unified (though not matchy-matched). I think we're getting there and I have big hopes for the big day bringing all these ideas together.

And, our invitations are here and out the door in a few days! Yow!

Invites almost here... a tally so far...

Besides a few hiccups in life - I left my job (planned, but makes for a busy week) and B got pneumonia - we are moving right along with wedding preparations.

Tonight Shachar, of Bates Meron Sweet Design, brings us our invitations. Shachar designed them with our photos and opinions. They look really cool - not formal or stuffy - and we love them. I have to stop at Paper Source for envelopes, print the insert with information on it tomorrow. Then we'll stuff envelopes and send 'em all out. I'm seriously contemplating watching some YouTubes about calligraphy so the invites look pretty, but I'm not sure how successful my sloppy, left-handed self will be at that.

I go for another dress fitting June 30. My first was pretty awesome. The dress is too big, but really pretty. I found a bra and now I'm on the prowl for some interesting shoes to wear with it. The seamstress is putting a pocket in my dress for my Continuous Glucose Monitor - sweet!

Both bridesmaids have their dresses and we're moving along on flowers, hair, makeup and other stuff like that.

We registered at Target, Bed Bath & Beyond, Carson's & REI. It was a pretty ridiculous process and I cannot imagine having most of this nice stuff. Our first shower is this weekend and we are excited and thankful for such awesome friends and family.

See, lots of progress! We still have a few things to figure out (music, an exact menu, etc) and lots of time to do it. Hooray!

A swift update

Hi friends,

I promise that we're making some serious wedding headway with many tasks including:

• rings
• dresses of all sorts
• registering
• ceremony plans
• music
• invites
• more silly details

Alas, I have a Chemistry final on Thursday, so I'll wait to share all the details. We've got just 74 days until we get married, which isn't so scary as I thought it might be. If we had to do it tomorrow afternoon, I think we'd swing a pretty great party. With 74 days to polish our plans it should be downright wonderful.

Photos & compromise

After looking at a lot of wedding crap online I've come to a pretty serious conclusion: most wedding photos suck. It's just not serious photojournalism, so it's not all that spectacular. (No offense to anyone's wedding pictures - those are great.)

B and I certainly want our day documented, but we're also pretty chilled out about what photos we need and what we're willing to pay in exchange for what we want. There are amazing wedding sites - photos that are creative, funny, interesting and smart - but most of the people who take those photos also take a lot of money and your rights to your photos too.

We contacted our amazing friends at Illini Media Company, the parent company of The Daily Illini where B and I met. (Romance!) Our friend Kit connected us with a talented, interested, entreprenuering photographer who is willing to shoot our wedding.

I met him a few weekends ago - he's smart, full of ideas and not at all hungover (even at 11 a.m. breakfast on a Saturday and he's in college!). He's coming to our wedding, taking as many photos as possible, leading another photog through the event, capturing the day and sharing a dvd of photos with us soon after.

He might not get the perfectly centered shot of my shoes, or take 342 pictures of my hands or get the light perfect for every photo. But that's fine. I'm quite sure there will be quite a few photos of me with all the important people I know - what more can I ask for?

Checking things off.

We've accomplished a few things, that's for sure. Many of these things beg more questions, which require answering, but that's OK. We're checking things off the list and that's a good feeling. Here's some details (maybe spoilers even) about the tasks we've completed.

• Save the Dates - These are on the way, or nearly on the way. We bought and procured some random postcards, which we're writing to all our friends and family to remind them of wedding details. We bought a cool stamp of our wedding date to make the postcards look like more than just plain postcards. The stamps are actually in our wedding font! Huzzah!
• Bridesmaid Dresses - Cindy, Julie and I headed to JCrew last week and actually found dresses that everyone agreed upon. And they're not black (I was pretty sure we could all agree on black, at the very least). They're silk chiffon and in a beautiful color called dusty shale, which is a gray-ish, turquoise-ish, neutral-ish color. The dresses are beautiful and look smashing on both Cindy and Julie. Next step is finding the flowers to go alongside as well as the clothes for the gentlemen which should match the dusty shale/flower combo in some way.
• Hotel - This is highly tricky. My dad is on top of finding hotels, but there truly aren't a lot of good deals at Chicago hotels in the summer on a weekend. So we've found a decent deal, but there's a whole silly contract about guaranteeing that the rooms will be booked or paying the difference. I don't know if most hotels do this when you reserve a block, but it's a lot of money to promise, especially if people make different plans (you know, booking hotels with miles/points, staying at a friend's place). So we're figuring this all out.
• Parties - Showers and parties are planned, or at least the dates are reserved. So we just need to register and pick out fancy outfits to wear!
• Pre-Nuptial Dinner - Planning in the works!
• Invitations - Our amazing friend is working on this - once we have an icon or logo, to go with our font, we'll just need to pick colors, exact wording and print 'em up!

103 days to go.

Dance, dance revolution

We're making our own playlist for the wedding - everything on an iPod, we can set up a few different playlists for different parts of the night, the upstairs where things will be quieter and the downstairs where there'll be dancing.

And, we're taking requests. If there's a song you'd like to hear or think we should play - tell us! Use the comments section. I'm trying to find a gadget to put on the blog frontpage too. In the meantime, suggest away!

A dress decision

I finally decided on the wedding dress for me.

It's a beautiful ivory bridesmaid dress made of taffeta silk with what I hope is a good mix of modern and sweet. I spent $311 (including tax, rush charge and other silly fees) - which is pretty amazing for the dress. (Definitely less than what B will spend on his suit, which has several magnitudes more wearing power, but will be somewhat less admired come July 24.)

I'm happy I've learned so much, become pretty confident about my ability to look hot at the Academy Awards (seriously, I rock quite a few different styles... invite me!) and felt incredibly appreciative of my patient, honest friends/family. Here are the major lessons learned from this fiasco-that-landed-me-a-dress:

• Love your consultant. Alex, at House of Brides, gave us the idea to look at bridesmaid dresses that come in ivory. It's brilliant for anyone who wants less dress and less expense. Consultants really help a lot - they help you actually get into a dress, respond to what you like and help you put really heavy strapless dresses on hangers.
• Take sample size into account - I didn't fit properly into 90 percent of the dresses I tried. But I tried on a lot and figured out how to imagine the dress fitting by asking a lot of questions about what'd be bigger and what stayed true. Hopefully this translates into a perfect fitting dress.
• Try everything. I never, ever would have predicted that the contenders or the dress I picked would look good on me. But I'm glad I tried on every silly dress I did. I even ordered a dress that was mailed to my home, where I modeled (to everyone except B).
• Keep calm. In the time I spent trying on dresses I felt fat, yucky, chubby-armed, chubby-backed, sexy, daring, silly, matronly, weird-shaped, freakish, embarrassed, awesome, radiant, bride-y, happy, beautiful and awesome.
• Bring along amazing people. It's pretty ridiculous, but I brought along friends and family who found the humor in the bad, the positive in everything ("Well, that doesn't flatter you" or "You don't look happy in that.") and enjoyed the process. My amazing friends hardly rolled their eyes a bit. They're the truest, most wonderful, patient and thoughtful people ever. I've seen the yuckies that people on bring along for dress decisions on Say Yes to the Dress bring along. Gross.
• 
  

122 days? Hmmm.

TheKnot.com sends me these silly reminders of the thousands of things I'm supposed to be doing. Today's said that B and I are getting married in 122 days - four months!

Mostly that's just 122 days to our amazing-fun party. 122 days until a day of special hairdos, flowers, yummy food and seeing almost everyone I love in one evening. But it's also - very much - 122 days in which I must accomplish a lengthy list of tasks. No matter how much we're simplifying this wedding situation, it's decidedly task-heavy to plan a wedding.

The past-due to-do list includes:

• Decide on colors, logo, theme
• Make final dress decision (yes, I'm almost done with that)
• Make appointment for dress fitting/measuring
• Find hotels for family and friends and ourselves for night of wedding
• Figure out save-the-dates and send date-savers
• Buy tickets for honeymoon

I'm certainly moving along, though not at a pace anyone else approves of, but we'll get there.

We have decided on:

• Honeymoon dates
• Font for invitations
• Dress for me (99 percent)
• Shopping plan for bridesmaids
• Shower dates tentatively

Any advice? Any questions about our wedding?

What's for dessert?

While we've already made some decisions about the food, those don't have to be finalized for a few months. I think wedding cakes need a bit more lead time, and Amanda has a strange hatred for dessert tables, so let's talk sweets.

Cupcakes are pretty awesome, if a touch trendy. The manager at Mrs. Murphy's mentioned a tower of cupcakes on the grand piano, which sounds intriguing and logistically difficult.

Cupcake virtues: The many different flavors prevent people like me from pouting about the strawberry cake. Cupcakes don't require any special service from the restaurant, so no cutting fee. They're easy to take home and more likely to be enjoyed later than wedding cake, which I usually leave sitting in the fridge. (I may be alone here.)

We also live down the street from a great bakery that's kept us supplied in cupcakes for years. We'd love to bring them the business.

Mrs. Murphy's has some great desserts that could be served with the other dishes. Their cranberry-apple crisp is really good; the just-as-good bread pudding might be too heavy for a July wedding. Really, anything on the dessert menu would be great. I don't know if even the best dessert obviates the need for cake, though.

I like cake. Who doesn't like cake? Only when you get married, instead of your grandma's delicious mayonaise cake or some scrumptious punkin' bars you get pink skyscrapers covered in barely-edible frosting. No one should eat anything that shiny.

The bakery down the street can do wedding cakes as well. There are examples on his site and in the shop, many of which are not awful. There are probably a dozen bakeries that could make a good cake within easy walking distance, including Dinkel's on Lincoln.

In addition to Karin's (good) cake, Dinkel's baked hams into loaves of rye bread for my grandparents' wedding. I guess that was a thing back then. My grandmother also told me there were like 500 people at the wedding because my grandfather was a beat cop and people were rotating through all day. She may have been exaggerating. More on this later, hopefully.

So Dinkel's might be nice just for the family connection, and I'm sure the cake would be good. We also know a young baker who could take a fun stab at a wedding cake. I just find it hard to get into the idea of wedding cake shopping. I probably just need to man up and enjoy the tastings. Mmmm, whipped cream.

What to wear...

So, I don't have a wedding dress yet (which is very bad according to some wedding dress authorities). I also don't know if I really want a wedding-wedding dress.

I didn't like the heaviness of the dresses - the puffs, the trains, the beads, the lacy bits, the sequins, the layers - I mean, I liked some of it, but not as much as a typical wedding dress has (that is a lot). I don't want to drag a heavy dress around all day and all night, nor do I want to "bustle" anything if at all possible. (Bustling means you take the long train and secure it so it's not long anymore, just kinda like an extra bit of dress on the back of your dress.)

Things I do like:

• I like shorter dresses.
• I like ivory, not white.
• I like sleeveless or not sleeveless, strapless or not strapless.
• I like pockets.
• I like long dresses without trains.

I've tried David's, BCBG, Dmitria's Bridal, House of Brides (most promising) and David's again. I've tried dresses that I loved in pictures, I've tried dresses I doubted, I've tried dresses with my mom and both Julie and Cindy. I will keep trying.

Thankfully, the very kind woman at House of Brides suggested I try bridesmaid dresses that come in ivory. Bridesmaid dresses are much simpler - less puff, less length, less crap, less weight, less expensive. So, that's the current #1 plan, but we'll see at House of Brides Visit 2 in a few weeks... Any advice?

July 24, 2010

That's the date, friends. Brian Buck and I are getting married at Murphy's Irish Bistro on Lincoln Avenue in Chicago.

Basically no other details about this day have been determined. (Save a few things like that our friend MDS is performing the ceremony, that several of the reasonable number of people in the wedding party are decided upon, and that we'll have open bar.)

My parents were able to stop by Murphy's after a basketball game at the United Center this weekend (Illini loss to Gonzaga - boo!). I believe they were both genuinely impressed. The bar was getting set-up for a wedding as we toured. In some ways (full-bar rent out, expecting 150 people) it was just like our plan, but in other ways it was very different (January conditions, holiday-ish decor). But it certainly helped give us an idea of how flexible the bar is, how beautiful the space is and how happy we are that it's ours on July 24.

This post is my open plea for ideas and help of all sorts. We have quite a bit to decide upon (see list below) and just a few rules or requirements about things (see notes on list). If you have an idea or wisdom about this, please share! I don't want wilted daisies in my bouquet or appetizers that taste bad on sunny days. Help me if you can, otherwise, just mark your calendars!

• Flowers - My aunt is an amazing florist and might be able to help, but I don't know for sure at this point. Since the bar is pretty lovely we don't need to do much flower-wise (nothing large), but I'd like a bouquet and perhaps tiny vases of flowers on tables too.
• Dresses - I fear that I'm the only person who has tried on many dresses and hasn't found the dress. But I've recovered from my post-shopping freakout and I'm ready to try, try again. I'm going to be more insistent about what I want and try more bridesmaid dresses that come in ivory too. I trust my friends enough to let them find dresses that match in some fashion, so we'll figure that out once they start shopping.
• Menu - This is actually a little scary. Murphy's will let us decide what we want, within reason, so we can really go in any direction. I'm sure we can figure something out (we have until July 10th, I think) that will work but any ideas about perfect July wedding food are appreciated.
• Suits - Totally Brian's department.
• Music - Maybe we need a pianist? We have a friend who can run some DJ-type stuff so that's possibly taken care of, but we'll need to figure that out.
• Photographers - We have a secret hope to pay a few Daily Illini photographers to shoot our wedding and just give them a rough draft of pictures to get. We've got to explore this soon (definitely in February when we see our DI friends at the Billy Goat). There are certainly photographer options in the city, but it can be pretty pricey. We'd also like to have mostly candid pictures if possible.
• Hotels - Northside of Chicago isn't exactly a land of hotels, but there are a few. Do we go with those or further out ones? Totally under investigation.
• Cake - Yum.
• Invitations, etc - We know a lot of creative people so hopefully these can be done without too much trouble.
• A bunch of other things I didn't even know about.